HOME - why not happy?

July 31, 2011

My two week journey to Haiti has come to an end.  The time there goes so quickly and all the experiences start running together.  (However, I do clearly recall the initial two hours of my trip being total havoc trying to check in at American Airlines, followed by leaving my computer on the plane AND now waiting for the suitcase which didn't arrive when I returned last night!  Of course the suitcase with all my dirty clothes arrived - but the one which contains ALL my sponsorship information and the precious thank you cards from the children remains missing.  I will anxiously await its return to my doorstep!)

Regardless of the number of trips I make to Haiti, the emotional experience of
returning home doesn't get easier.  I walked into our house last night and instead of craving the niceties of air conditioning, a bug-less bed and warm shower - I felt a flooding of the drastic changes of priorities, from what I had just experienced in Haiti merely hours before.

Today I won't have to carve out time to get to the tent city ophanage to be sure they received food since the visit there on Tuesday.  Or experience the sorrow of returning the three children back to the tent orphange from their brief stay at  New Life - where they received love, food and medical intervention. They arrived so despondent - and in such a short time they were laughing and playing.  Their weary eyes now bright with hope. 

I suspect that when the children at the tent city orphanage see Miriam returning with the children who recuperated at New Life the past few days, they will extend their little frail arms, and beg her to take them back with her this time - hoping to be rescued. Efforts to provide them with an actual safe building with food and water can't happen soon enough.  Isn't 19 months living under a battered tarp without any consistency of food, water, clothing and safety long enough? 

My mind keeps replaying our last night when all the children were gathered singing praise songs at an unbelievable volume and through tears I tried to encourage them, thank them and say goodbye.  We were to leave very early the next morning, so this was our final time together. However - at 5:30 a.m. Renee and I learned that our flight was changed, which gave us three additional hours at New Life.  When we walked toward the orphanage many of the children came running and flew into our arms with hugs - thinking we were staying.  It was certainly a bonus for us in many ways.  More photos, more "I love you's" more just being amounst the morning activities.  I was especially excited to see Son Son - the new boy who came who I wrote about in a previous blog - he was standing there with a long hose watering the garden. His new assignment.  It looked like he was fitting in just fine.  He came running when he saw me and threw his arms around me and looked up with those huge eyes of his and said, "I love you, Patty!"  Tears are rolling as I type this because if nothing else came out of our trip - I witnessed a young boy who God placed in my path in January, received into a home where I know he will be consistently loved and cared for.  How ironic his name is "Son Son" .... he feels like one to me.

I laid awake in bed last night,  unable to remove the common sights of the streets in Haiti from my mind - where literally hundreds and hundreds of people are all crammed together trying to sell whatever sits before them day after day after day to buy food.  Where young children carry heavy buckets and plastic containers of water for blocks upon blocks to their home where water doesn't exist. Or seeing people bathing and washing clothes in the same water shared by pigs and goats down stream.  We become frustrated when we have to wait through TWO stop light rotations.  A rush hour in Haiti is traffic at a stand still with motorcycles weaving between cars and up on sidewalks if need be, often transporting three to four people to a bike.  Mobs of people stand waiting for an hour for a "tap tap" (pick up truck - their public transportation) to arrive and then they pack in to the point that some stand on the bumper and hold on to anything they can. And I had to grin recalling my impatience when I have to wait through TWO stop light rotaions because  the jerk ahead of me wouldn't turn left on a yellow light. As I revisited all these visuals last night, I remembered my attitude over my lost bag after flying on an airplane.   I remined myself that there are millions upon millions of people in the world who will never even get a glimpse inside of an airplane and who don't have enough personal belongings to even fill a suitcase.  So surely I am blessed and need to knock off the whining.

I often wonder when I return if anything was significantly accomplished during my visit. Was there really a point to my visit when the needs are so overwhelming?  This morning I have concluded that my visit may have  been used as a reminder for me to continue  with my efforts here in the States on their behalf.  Their voice is silent here. The children and adults alike where we stay truly believe we are sent as an answer to their ongoing prayer for God not to forget them.  So - my efforts will continue to change hearts here, which inturn transforms lives there.  I will earnestly try not to become swallowed up by the fast pace and perceived personal needs and changes that surface and take over my mind in my safe haven of Naperville -- but rather I will recall the feeling when the children fuss over who gets to hold your actual hand, and who has to settle for a portion of your forearm.  For those children, whose future requires not just an education - but survival tactics  - I will remain their voice!  Please join me. 

Thank you for caring enough to even read the blog to share in our experiences and thank you for every prayer and every cent your have shared to make a difference for many!

Special Day at the Beach for the Grace Girls!

Just a quick note to say we did beach day yesterday with Marie's girls. Some of the ladies at New Life who take care of the children also joined us with their families. It was a beautiful day with not a cloud in the sky. Rented a big bus, first stop New Life to pick all of us up and then off to Grace Hope Orphanage. When we arrived the girls where all ready to go, bathing suits on with hair braided. Of course, matching beads in hair to match bathing suits for all. Cathy, Patty and I all had three or four girls to a seat and off we went. Singing worship songs, eating candy and just plain catching up was the order of the day. We even tried to speak some English to see what the girls remembered and if they have advanced. As most of you are aware, the girls don't get out much so most eyes were focused on all of the interesting sights in the streets as we drove to the beach. I noticed the girls especially perked up whenever we went by someone selling ladies clothes. Should I be surprised that it isn't any different here then at home!!!! We arrived at the beach one and a half hours later. Stayed on shore long enough to count off, pray for everyone's safety and all were in the water in a blink of an eye. We became human floats for the little ones, through the beach ball around and taught the older girls to float and swim. Cathy, our triathlon participant, was the swim teacher for the day. The girls caught on early that this was her forte. Before I knew it, the girls were asking her to remove her sunglasses and get her head in the water! Breast stroke was the lesson for today and by the end they were like fish in water, promising we would all be a swim team next time with matching suits. Soon after, snack time was upon us. Bread and peanut butter all around as the girls were hungry. Had to remind them that lunch was coming shortly. Someone drove out from New Life with snacks and lunch for all. Finished up drinks and snacks and it was back into the water. Could have stayed in there all day as water temperature was like bathwater and crystal clear. Wasn't long before the lunch bell was ringing. Rice and beans, salad and beets were the order of the day. For dessert, a special treat, homemade brownies. Cathy gave up her medical kit spot in her luggage to make sure we had brownies mix for all the children this trip. Bless her heart. So Wednesday night after dinner the three of us got to it. Cathy poured the mix into the bowls while I mixed and Patty had the chief chef responsibility. She had to figure out the oven. The dial for the oven only had numbers one through six on it. So, as you can imagine, much experimentation was necessary. All in all, a great success and special treat for everyone. About 3:30 the call was for all out of the water. Time to change into something dry and hit the road! The trip home brought happy times as Sister Patty came through with hidden picture sheets and word searches for everyone. Of course, the day wouldn't be complete without one more piece of candy! After a few rain drops along the way and stops to drop some families off along our route, we arrived back at the girls orphanage. Saying goodbye is never easy, kisses, hugs and many blessings finished with, "see you next time". Back to New Life to enjoy a warm dinner and 7:00 devotions with the kids. For me, devotion time here is becoming bittersweet. Only one more evening with the children and my friend Chinaido who just loves to sing and worship our Lord and Savior! I will miss him. Thanks again to all that have been following our journey on FB and Haiti blog. Thank you for keeping us in prayer as well. See you soon,
Renee

July 25, 2011 As the sun went down - Son Son appeared

Today was another day of one step forward, one to the side, one back and then forward.  We haven’t left the premises of New Life for the past two days. Cathy Jones arrived late afternoon yesterday, so our triad is complete.  She is settling in and spent the day cleaning, sorting, and loving the kids.  Instead of giving you more details of our time – I feel like I would rather just share a short story with you.  It certainly had a big impact on me, and I hope you will be able to understand why.

In February of this year when Renee and I were in Haiti, we visited another orphanage which was established after the earthquake.  We were very appalled at the conditions and the innocent children seemed sad and hungry for attention and love.  While I was walking around the small area there I found a young boy about 10 years old at my side.  He had the most angelic face with eyes that I can’t even describe.  They were huge and just drew me into his soul.  I hugged him over and again and we held hands for the duration of our visit. He told me his name was Son Son.  I pointed him out to Renee and Miriam and said, “This boy does not belong here.”  Miriam conversed with him in Creole and said he sounded very intelligent and she could tell that he probably had attended school in the past.  This would mean he came from a family who could afford schooling – a exception. We learned his parents were killed in the earthquake, but we weren’t clear on how he ended up in this particular orphanage.  When we left that day, I couldn’t get the face of this dear boy out of my head. 

In the weeks that followed Miriam made trips back to this orphanage to bring them food. On several occasions she even brought some of the children from her orphanage, New Life, to help care and entertain the children and to do laundry and other tasks.  From that aspect, I kept up with his life.  I even received a few photos of him.  He still appeared distraught to me – or maybe I was distraught for him.

Several weeks ago I learned that they located an uncle of Son Son’s and that he was now living with his uncle.  While I had no idea of the conditions at his uncle’s home – I felt relief that he was free of the oppression I felt when I met him at the orphanage.

When I arrived at New Life last week, Miriam shared that Son Son was coming to New Life with his uncle for a visit.  She said she wanted to talk with his uncle to learn of his current living conditions, and she thought I would enjoy seeing him.  Well – during dinner time tonight we looked out and saw a young boy and a man sitting on a bench under the infamous mango tree.  Renee and I walked out to the tree and saw that it was Son Son.    I’m sure he didn’t remember me, but how I remembered him.  Again – his eyes looking up at me brought me to his side so I could hold him once again.  As per usual – the language barrier stood its ground between us. 

Miriam was at the orphanage and had someone bring Son Son to her.  She explained to him that if he would like to, she would talk with his uncle and maybe he could stay at a new orphanage which was being prepared for the children currently living at the tent city orphanage. It was decided that she would get in contact with him at that point.  When Son Son returned to the mango tree on the other side of the property his uncle was gone but his backpack remained.  I saw Son Son walking alone across the property and I assumed then he had come to stay.  I could feel tears coming as I couldn’t imagine this child losing his parents, being confined at the first orphanage, and now leaving his uncle for yet another orphanage.  But soon I was told the truth – the uncle had left him behind and Son Son had no choice but to stay at New Life.  Miriam tried calling the uncle several times – but he didn’t answer his phone. 

Son Son was then welcomed with open arms.  He hadn’t eaten all day, so was promptly fed.  Then devotions began and I had him sit with the boys. After the singing ended Miriam asked the children if they remembered how they felt when they first came to New Life – she elaborated on how awful it feels to be sad and lonely. Then she had Son Son come forward.  She asked for all boys age 11 – the age of Son Son to come forward as well and they introduced themselves to him and each one hugged him tightly.  (Of course I’m nearly sobbing by then!) Then he put his arms around Miriam’s waist and she told him he was a very special boy that Jesus sent to New Life and that she loved him very much.

When devotions ended other children came forward to welcome him and one of the “nannies” took him by the hand and walked him around to receive additional hugs – and I was able to do just that.  Then they walked to the boy’s dorm to show him a bed another boy had given up for him. I hope as I write this that Son Son is fast asleep and God’s love that was given to him by many has erased any fears and replaced it with peace. 

What else is there to say …. Please pray for Son Son.

Cleaning House

July 23, 2011

I will share a quick update before retiring for the day.  Since the blog of yesterday morning Renee and I haven’t left the premises. The day has come to a close and as Renee and I start coveting our bed I decided to send out a quick, short blog to let everyone know we are doing well and soaking in the experiences put before us.  Renee continues to run from one end of the property to the other handling issues as they develop and overseeing the guest house.  Miriam INSISTS she isn't going to let Renee leave and will get Bill to join her here.  They are both such a blessing to the ministry with their gifts and actions.  Yesterday and this afternoon I have continued to spend time with the children in my efforts to have each child create a "thank you" card for their sponsor.  There were 185 notes to be written and I'm getting the number down to a bit over 20! YEAH!  The children have really had fun making them as I stress to them the love and assistance of their sponsor.  Even though I TRY to keep the table reserved for only those who are working on the cards, an entourage of children gather. Today I brought activity books with me and was amazed how interested the children were to complete mazes, dot to dot, and math problems.  The older children really enjoy doing "word search" puzzles and sit for a long time concentrating to find a word.  Once again I wish I spoke Creole - but somehow my love for them seems to penetrate their heart without using words and they surely return it tenfold. 

Renee was involved in a huge project to make room in the depot for the contents coming in a shipping container any day!  She had quite the group of helpers as nearly all the boys worked very hard at her direction.  At the end of the day a Pastor from an orphanage about an hour away came with a truck and was so thrilled to receive a supply of food, medicines and other needed items.  Six of the children from here went back to his orphanage for a week to be a help to his staff, and to experience life in the mountain area where agriculture is predominant.  I suspect they will return with a thankful heart for New Life.

We have met some amazing women on this trip who are staying here to serve. There is a young woman age 20, who has been such an inspiration and support to me.  God is so good at putting just the right person in your path.  Tonight the six of us gathered for prayer and it was such a realization that we come as broken souls before Him and that He still uses us  - He takes our gifts and puts us alongside those with other gifts and WOW -  look out! 

I must also mention the team that left today.  They, too, brought love and inspiration to New Life through their team members, activities and ministries in the area - especially at the deaf camp.  Tears were shed by them as they left. I have no doubt many of them will be back.  I was especially blessed by three of the girls on their team in their 20's.  They insist that Renee and I are going on the medical mission scheduled in October with them.  They are radiant girls with Godly lives and intentions. We shared so many laughs and tears together. They each had a child here steal their heart and change their life.  It's certainly the truth that God is about changing lives - we see it happen every day here.  The irony being it's usually a visitor - even though every visitor comes hoping to change a life here! 

Tomorrow is church - which is always an experience. Cathy Jones arrives in the afternoon and we will spend the last week as a team of three - NOT to be confused with the THREE STOOGES - or we hope we won't resemble such behavior!  Please continue to pray for us and for the future of this ministry.  There is so much activity here and the needs are great.  The good news is, God has already covered the tomorrow that we fear.  I see Renee's salamander is back on the wall.  Time to turn off the lights and put my head under the covers.  What might tomorrow bring?

Haiti - is really an action word!

Suffering with “bloggers guilt” and having too much in my heart – I decided to blog today, even though Renee has already bogged as well.  That way – for those of you who have been waiting for an entry….today is bonus day!  If tomorrow does not offer us an opportunity to actually sit and type one, may this one cover us! J

ALL the days are now running together. I don’t know if it’s my feeble mind, or if an alert 20 year old would experience the same.  Today, Little Patty’s father (my God child) told me that after visiting me here on Tuesday, she has been getting dressed early each day thereafter asking if she can come to work with him here at New Life so she can see me and swing on the swing.  I suspect her first experience of swinging on a swing such as the one here has now taken top priority over me.  I shall weep over that reality later…

As I mentioned in a previous blog, my child from Compassion International did indeed come to visit on Wednesday.  It was an amazing reunion as he ran to greet me with arms so tight around my neck I thought he was going to hold me tight forever.  I met his father for the first time, who is now supporting and raising him as a result of his mother dying in March.  Before he left I asked if he would sing a song for me, as he told me before that he likes to sing.  With just a few moments of hesitation he stood and began.  The song was very long and his sweet voice went both high and low and the tune was very interesting.  The translator explained that around Christmas time the country had a national singing contest and many people tried out, singing this newly written song.  It basically asked God to bless the country after all that was lost in the earthquake and not to forget them as a people.  Just knowing he was singing that message so heartfelt made me sad.  I guess I don’t want anyone here in Haiti to have the burden of their poverty in their heart.  But why wouldn’t they?  To know MY prayer requests NEVER touch on God rescuing me from the depths of nothingness – I can’t imagine the faith and hope it takes to trust God that He will rescue and restore their lives.  I have had their prayers translated to me, and the MAJORITY of their prayers are prayers of THANKSGIVING to God vs. prayers asking for help!

Before leaving for Haiti, two sponsors gave money to buy a treat for all the children while we were here.  We were given a “tip” by one of the older children here of a place to go where the ice cream and other treats are actually manufactured cheaper.  By it resembling something a “sale price” , I was all over it! Silly me is half expecting a big building on the main street….but it was down a dusty narrow road.  Soon we came to the usual huge tall gate and after a few honks of our horn, with caution, we were allowed in.  We went up many stairs and at the top we were greeted by a Canadian woman who spoke English and she welcomed us into her air conditioned office which looked quite American. NOTHING you would have expected to see by the condition of the surroundings.  We bought cups of ice cream and little single packages of cake for each child and we were so excited for the party to come!  On Wed. night during devotional time – in the dark of the night the children were surprised with the treats!  Lots of happy faces, and many chins dripping with white ice cream.  I had the humble experience of hand feeding one of the disabled children who can’t feed himself, nor speak but his eyes expressed his delight.  

Yesterday, I had the fun of being included by a team here who was treating the children of New Life to a trip to the beach.  The morning was filled with excitement as everyone prepared for their day away.  We were told that there were about 10 of the children who weren’t going to be allowed to go, based on behavioral issues.  We all loaded into a small bus – housing sometimes 4 to a seat meant for TWO – we sat there and sweat – waiting to leave.  All at once it was announced that three of the little boys had to exit the bus, as they were still under the consequences of poor choices.  I could hardly watch them walk away slowly….tough love abounds and is needed to raise up respectful children.

The children sang songs and used the back of seats for a drum all the way there.  It also offers them the chance to see beyond their walls of life in Haiti and what one day will be the place where they will have to use what they are learning now – to survive.  As you would imagine – fun was had by all.  You can’t imagine a scene SO beautiful is part of the ugliness that exists on the road behind you.  Lots of fun photos taken and all you could hear were their voices exclaiming their deep pleasure.  As I sat on the shore I frequently heard “Sister Patty!”  When I looked their way they would do some kind of trick in the water or show me something that required me to clap and yell, “Bravo!” And then that antic would be followed by another and another… No matter where you do – children LOVE attention and affirmation. 

The ride home in the bus was longggg and hot.  Many kids sleeping after a day of fun. All of a sudden there was a very loud bang – I expected to find a bullet hole somewhere - but thankfully, I guess, we blew a tire!  In a flash, I could picture all 80+ of us standing alongside a hot dusty road waiting for a repair.  Thankfully, it was reported as an “inside tire” and we were told we were OK to continue – only now we traveled at 25 MPH instead of 45.  Dusk was around the corner after we returned and Renee and I found ourselves in GREAT need of a cold shower and our beds were looking pretty darn good!

Today I am hoping to help children with the remaining thank you notes to sponsors. It’s a project that has lasted all week.  I am not complaining because the more notes to write, means the more sponsors who have stepped forward. If you are reading this as a sponsor – please know your child is MORE than happy to give their personalized touch with a sincere thank you!  Many sponsors have also written their child a letter – so I will get the blessing of sharing those words of love with the child as the days continue.  I have never stayed here two weeks before – I normally leave after one week, which would be tomorrow.  I couldn’t imagine going home so soon and am thankful that I have another week to share with these precious children of God and only hope Renee and I have given them even a moment of joy compared to what they have given us which will be part of us forever!