Why I Came?

Why did I come…?

After a “no pilot” delay leaving Chicago, and then returning to the gate after the plane engine sucked in   a bouquet of helium balloons, followed by weather issues causing yet another delay  - I made it to Miami with seven minutes to go before my connecting flight to Haiti was to leave.  I fell into my seat, throat dry from running and hauling my carry-ons – only to be delayed AGAIN!  But – once we landed and I felt the warm breeze and typical smells of Haiti – all of the trials of travel were gone.

Whenever I come back it’s as if time had stood still since my last visit.  The scenery, activity and seemingly no progress is always the same.  I still look out my window in disbelief – wondering how people can live this way day after day.  But then I remember my life of the past six weeks since my last visit here and could ask myself the same thing…Why do I cram so much into a day and keep myself so anxious and worrisome about “projects” and what to make for dinner!!   How do I CONTINUE to live that way?

When I drove through the gate of New Life Children’s Home and saw the handicapped children in their wheelchairs all around the shade of the huge mango tree with some of the other children off to the side playing, a peace came over me and it was if I left all my “flight frustrations”  and self induced anxieties behind.    A few girls ran to greet me and their hug explained why I came.  No real agenda this time – no planned events – just here to share God’s love and receive it back 10 fold so I CAN return home in 10 days and be recharged to handle MY LIFE – they all seem to be doing just fine.  Yes, their clothes are a bit tattered and mismatched.  Yes, they are probably wearing their only pair of shoes – being flip flops (I happened to bring SIX pairs of different sandals – SICK!)  Yes, they probably ate the same dinner they had four other nights this week…but food is eaten to sustain their body – interesting concept -  we spend more time reading labels, demanding choices and variety and complaining about long checkout lines than we  actually do eating!

I don’t know – it’s different this time.  Usually the first couple days when I get back I feel a bit depressed by how little things change and how “hard” life is here – but this time the simplicity and being free of the chaos of home brought me peace. 

I went to bed at 7:30ish – exhausted – and just listened to the night noises and waited for the fan to oscillate my direction as I laid still in the heat.  I was aware that I had seen three salamanders on the wall in my room earlier – and I’ve even grown used to those.  (I still don’t do rats well, however!)

After a good night’s sleep – no longer hearing the roosters – similar to living by a train track and no longer hearing the train – I got up early and read my devotions outside in the sunshine and beautiful morning breeze.  YES – all my mid-west friends – there IS something called sunshine and beautiful warm weather! I was even excited to take my bucket bath and pour water over my head.

I just returned from morning devotions with all the children where they sang one song after another with just fervor.  I didn’t feel worthy of all the love and hugs I received at the end as they each waited their turn to hug me….how could I ever explain to them that God uses THEM to bless and teach ME? When have I ever given God that amount of time in MY day, EVERY day?  I’m sitting here feeling so humbled.  I’ve asked God many times to remove my prideful ways….I guess that was HIS agenda for me this trip, beginning today.  Let not your heart be weary….you’ll miss the gifts He has for you today.

Patty M