HOME - why not happy?

July 31, 2011

My two week journey to Haiti has come to an end.  The time there goes so quickly and all the experiences start running together.  (However, I do clearly recall the initial two hours of my trip being total havoc trying to check in at American Airlines, followed by leaving my computer on the plane AND now waiting for the suitcase which didn't arrive when I returned last night!  Of course the suitcase with all my dirty clothes arrived - but the one which contains ALL my sponsorship information and the precious thank you cards from the children remains missing.  I will anxiously await its return to my doorstep!)

Regardless of the number of trips I make to Haiti, the emotional experience of
returning home doesn't get easier.  I walked into our house last night and instead of craving the niceties of air conditioning, a bug-less bed and warm shower - I felt a flooding of the drastic changes of priorities, from what I had just experienced in Haiti merely hours before.

Today I won't have to carve out time to get to the tent city ophanage to be sure they received food since the visit there on Tuesday.  Or experience the sorrow of returning the three children back to the tent orphange from their brief stay at  New Life - where they received love, food and medical intervention. They arrived so despondent - and in such a short time they were laughing and playing.  Their weary eyes now bright with hope. 

I suspect that when the children at the tent city orphanage see Miriam returning with the children who recuperated at New Life the past few days, they will extend their little frail arms, and beg her to take them back with her this time - hoping to be rescued. Efforts to provide them with an actual safe building with food and water can't happen soon enough.  Isn't 19 months living under a battered tarp without any consistency of food, water, clothing and safety long enough? 

My mind keeps replaying our last night when all the children were gathered singing praise songs at an unbelievable volume and through tears I tried to encourage them, thank them and say goodbye.  We were to leave very early the next morning, so this was our final time together. However - at 5:30 a.m. Renee and I learned that our flight was changed, which gave us three additional hours at New Life.  When we walked toward the orphanage many of the children came running and flew into our arms with hugs - thinking we were staying.  It was certainly a bonus for us in many ways.  More photos, more "I love you's" more just being amounst the morning activities.  I was especially excited to see Son Son - the new boy who came who I wrote about in a previous blog - he was standing there with a long hose watering the garden. His new assignment.  It looked like he was fitting in just fine.  He came running when he saw me and threw his arms around me and looked up with those huge eyes of his and said, "I love you, Patty!"  Tears are rolling as I type this because if nothing else came out of our trip - I witnessed a young boy who God placed in my path in January, received into a home where I know he will be consistently loved and cared for.  How ironic his name is "Son Son" .... he feels like one to me.

I laid awake in bed last night,  unable to remove the common sights of the streets in Haiti from my mind - where literally hundreds and hundreds of people are all crammed together trying to sell whatever sits before them day after day after day to buy food.  Where young children carry heavy buckets and plastic containers of water for blocks upon blocks to their home where water doesn't exist. Or seeing people bathing and washing clothes in the same water shared by pigs and goats down stream.  We become frustrated when we have to wait through TWO stop light rotations.  A rush hour in Haiti is traffic at a stand still with motorcycles weaving between cars and up on sidewalks if need be, often transporting three to four people to a bike.  Mobs of people stand waiting for an hour for a "tap tap" (pick up truck - their public transportation) to arrive and then they pack in to the point that some stand on the bumper and hold on to anything they can. And I had to grin recalling my impatience when I have to wait through TWO stop light rotaions because  the jerk ahead of me wouldn't turn left on a yellow light. As I revisited all these visuals last night, I remembered my attitude over my lost bag after flying on an airplane.   I remined myself that there are millions upon millions of people in the world who will never even get a glimpse inside of an airplane and who don't have enough personal belongings to even fill a suitcase.  So surely I am blessed and need to knock off the whining.

I often wonder when I return if anything was significantly accomplished during my visit. Was there really a point to my visit when the needs are so overwhelming?  This morning I have concluded that my visit may have  been used as a reminder for me to continue  with my efforts here in the States on their behalf.  Their voice is silent here. The children and adults alike where we stay truly believe we are sent as an answer to their ongoing prayer for God not to forget them.  So - my efforts will continue to change hearts here, which inturn transforms lives there.  I will earnestly try not to become swallowed up by the fast pace and perceived personal needs and changes that surface and take over my mind in my safe haven of Naperville -- but rather I will recall the feeling when the children fuss over who gets to hold your actual hand, and who has to settle for a portion of your forearm.  For those children, whose future requires not just an education - but survival tactics  - I will remain their voice!  Please join me. 

Thank you for caring enough to even read the blog to share in our experiences and thank you for every prayer and every cent your have shared to make a difference for many!