Gracious Uncertainty

Our natural inclination is to be so precise- trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next- that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in God, and uncertain in our certainty.
This is the devotional I began my day with today, while watching the sun rise… After reading it several times I gained the knowledge I believed was being expressed. It wasn’t until the experience of today that I now understand.
Even before we ate breakfast this morning a crew of several men arrived at Marie’s to continue rebuilding a security wall that was damaged in the earthquake. The old wall was broke into small pieces and added to the road where they had done the same with many of the damaged buildings, turning the dirt road into a gravel road. The upgraded roads appear to be an unseen blessing. With temperatures reaching near 100 today it was decided to wait until late afternoon to continue on the construction of the church at Marie’s. We instead took the opportunity to visit the water purification facility, where we purchased 100 bags, containing 60 single servings of purified water each. 90 of these bags were given to the orphanage, the remaining 10 will be used for the teams supply for the week. This trip gave me my first sight of large rural tent cities. Though they were in the distance what drew my attention was a group of kids playing soccer. No worries, just kids being kids. Traveling back into town I noticed the intricate metal workings of the gates entering into people’s homes. It seems almost signature architecture of the culture, where no matter how big or small the home, they share beautiful ornate metal work.
After lunch we decided to visit one of the tent cities, to visit the people and actually see the conditions they were living in. I, like all of you, have seen the pictures, and watched the news stories of these tent cities, but I was completely unprepared for what I experienced. The Haitian smell that has permeated my clothes and skin was intensified. The only way I can describe the smell is a combination of rotting garbage and burning tires. But meeting us at the gate was a crowd of kids. These kids had the same expression my kids do when I come home from work, and they run and meet me at the door, sharing hugs and laughs. All I knew to do was to hug them, and play with them, as they lead me through the tent city. I was overwhelmed by the conditions of the tent city… Tents were literally right next to each other, with narrow pathways wandering through. The tents are literally tarps being held up by tree branches, most didn’t appear to be much larger than 8’x8’. But as my heart broke for these people, I would look into their eyes and see joy. The smiles on their faces, the handshakes and hugs… they were joyful. Joyful in what we would perceive as chaos, and devastation, joyful in having their lives, joyful in their faith, and I was instantly humbled. It was described to me that the Haitians are resourceful and resilient. This is exactly what I have witnessed today. They live life one day at a time, as the devotional says, they have become uncertain in certainty, and instead rely on their faith.
This experience was nearly too overwhelming for me, and as we drove back to the orphanage I noticed I was becoming numb to the destruction that was all around, instead I saw businesses running, street vendors selling, kids walking home from school proudly wearing their uniforms, I saw a country that is striving and pushing on through whatever struggles, a country of proud people. Unable to understand and take this all in, I found myself shutting down emotionally. I was nearly unable to make heads or tails of this trip. Then we entered the orphanage, and the girls ran and met us at the gate, smiles, hugs, wanting to be lifted up and loved, and of course giving everyone a fist bump, which Brad and I officially brought to Haiti! The kids think it is the coolest thing! But having three girls climbing on me, fighting for who got the first hug just brings reality back. (1 Corinthians 13:13) Three things will last forever – Faith, Hope and Love- and the greatest of these is love. The Haitians in their uncertain certainty in everything but their faith continue to witness this to me.

Chris